Saved By the Bell was a popular TV show in the 90’s. Any fellow Zack Morris fans here? [Disclaimer – if you just had to google or ask the person next to you, “Who is Zack Morris?” my heart breaks for you!]
Zack was known for doing what was called a “Time Out.” Anytime something unexpected happened or when something wasn’t going his way he would simply say “Time Out,” and time would literally stand still. Only he could move, think, and speak while everyone else around him stood frozen in time. During Zack’s time outs he could escape the present reality and take time to process his circumstances without the distraction and chaos of his surroundings.
On November 1, 2000 at 4:30am I begged for a “Time Out.” I was sixteen years old. I had never known pain and shock in such an extreme and genuine way. My sister woke me up and through tears and broken words said that my dad had been killed in an accident on his way home from work the night before. I knew he was going to be home late so I didn’t wait up because I had school the next day. After all, I would see him in the morning. But, the morning never came.
You see, to say I was a daddy’s girl would be an understatement. My dad was the greatest man I have ever known. The crater-like void that suddenly appeared in my heart was crippling. At that time I would have given or done anything to escape reality. Amidst intense grief, I found myself running from hope and truth and barreling toward destruction and despair.
But, there was beauty that slowly, yet most assuredly, arose from the ashes of my broken heart.
The One who knew me never once ignored me! Almighty God Himself, through the Holy Spirit, acknowledged my pain and accompanied me on every step to remembering and rediscovering His steadfast love and unwavering truth. John 16 reminds us that the Holy Spirit leads us into all truth and glorifies Christ in all things. My journey of grieving and healing continues to progress only because of the One who the Spirit within me and before me glorifies.
Christ alone continues making all things new in the midst of tragedy. His grace, love, and mercy surround us in the thick of life’s most painful moments and it’s there that we learn that His peace truly does surpass our understanding. My sincere prayer for you is that you will fix your eyes on our Lord. The prophet Isaiah affirmed that perfect peace remains on those whose eyes are fixed on Him. If you, like me, have experienced great loss I hope you will know that I grieve with you. Regardless of whether it’s been 7 hours or 70 years, loss is one of the hardest circumstances to bear. I also hope with you! What a beautiful Savior we have that He would prepare a place for us to one day be with Him and worship Him forever alongside those who have gone before us. Let us choose today to wait and hope with expectancy while offering praise to the One who is most worthy!